Moments are the molecules that make up eternity

Why can’t life have a repeat button?

You know when you find a song you like? The one you just can’t get out of your head? And you play it over and over. You begin to sing it in the shower. You find yourself dancing to the beat…. Even when you find yourself in total silence. You jam out in your car when you think no one is looking. (awkward) And eventually, the lyrics begin to penetrate your thoughts and fill your soul. In my mind, that is the definition of a well-written song. 

One of the bummer things about life is that any given moment, no matter how awesome it is, cannot be replayed.  Even those picture perfect moments that seem to leap right off the pages of a fairy dusted storybook cannot be relived. They just can’t.

Well, Last night was one of those nights that I want to replay a thousand times. And since I have accepted the fact that life is dynamic, that the only thing we can expect to be 100% constant is change, I decided to jot down my thoughts so that they last longer

Nothing extraordinary happened last night. Just a good night with some of my favorite people doing some of my favorite things.

First, I took a trip to the hospital to see my cute sister Rachel who recently had jaw surgery. Now if you don’t know Rach, and if you don’t, you really should. Everyone needs a little Rachel Rose in their lives, let me just tell you… this girl is a warrior. 

As a side story that I think exhibits my love for this sweet girl perfectly, a few years ago a fun family hike turned into a disaster. We were on top of this mountain, alone and lost. We had resorted to the stream for our drinking water and our food supply was about out. It was getting dark and we were getting scared. Real scared. I have never seen my strong, capable, football player dad so distraught.

Why am I telling you this story? Because Rach surprised us all with her courage, strength, and selflessness as she has many times before and after this beloved moment in the mountains. She massaged my back and assured me that it would all be okay. (by this point I was one step short of a basket case) She then scaled the mountain looking for the trail. Nothing fazed her. Not the rattlesnakes. Not the fact that her legs were all cut up and bloody. Nothing. She simply did what needed to be done in the most courageous, graceful way possible.

Despite our seven year age difference, I have long since said I want to be like Rachel when I grow up.

Yesterday I got to see my Rach in a slightly different light. This time on a hospital bed with some ridiculous looking head wrap. Swollen and bloody. In her words she said she looked like a “bear.” But just as brave. Just as beautiful. Just as strong.

I love that girl.

Then, I met my other, soon to be missionary, sister Katie and my grandparents for dinner at our favorite Thai place in Salt Lake. I truly believe that pad thai and curry is comfort food at its finest. Katie has a talent for cultivating deep dinner talks and she did just that. We talked to our fossils about their lives. They told stories of falling in love and raising children. For a moment, we got to relive some of their precious memories, triumphs and failures, along side them. As most elderly do, they have a pure perspective on the purpose of life. They are able to boil seemingly complex scenarios down to simple truths. Above all, their love for each other and their zeal and appreciation for life never ceases to shine through their interlocked hands and their sparkling eyes.

At that moment, they provided me a blueprint for how I want my life to go. They gave me a fresh perspective.

Katie and I made our way to the Jazz game talking about everything and nothing all at the same time. Just as sisters do, we discussed boys and fashion. We attempted to make somewhat of a bucket list for her last few weeks at home as she is about to leave me for 18 whole months. I am only kind of bitter as I am so so excited for her to have her own adventures. we simply tried to make the most of our precious time together.

I know that a few months from now I am really going to miss these moments. So I just am trying to take them in, one at a time.

“Moments are the molecules that make up eternity.” –  Neil A. Maxwell